Meridian Street Lists

Elon Musk’s newest venture is a chip that is inserted into your skull and has 64 needles that reach into parts of your brain. The chip will allow the human brain to control external devices with thoughts. What could go wrong? Here are the top ten problems with Neuralink.

Charging port for your Neuralink is standardized with Tesla so you have a big ol’ receptacle in your head.

The Neuralink chip is manufactured in Stepford Connecticut; nuff said.

You wake up from surgery with an urge to buy a Tesla.

Neuralink can only be charged with green energy, so not at night or when the wind doesn’t blow.

Subscription fee of $8 a month forever; don’t pay and you get turned off.

No guarantee that your subscription fee will not be raised; it will be!

Hackers! You know they’re already working on it.

Terminal Man by Michael Crichton – Am I the only one who remembers this? Seen the movie? Brain pacemaker? Violent psychotic?

Intrusive thoughts from McAfee announcing a virus scan found 17 viruses.

Charging cable that comes with the Neuralink chip is only 8 inches long so you have to sit on the floor for 3 hours while charging.