The once popular Princess of Wales has been caught in another lie. Coming on the heels of the scandal around issuing a photoshopped picture of her family, the princess has now been found lying about wearing nail polish.

This newest scandal began when the princess was leaving her royal residence for a walk. A royal watcher shouted, “What color is your nail polish?” In reply, the princess clearly said, “I’m not wearing any.” However, photographic analysis by forensic scientists revealed a slight, unnatural, sheen on the Princess’s fingernails.

When confronted with the evidence, the royal family was forced to backtrack and issued a clarification on the part of the Princess, initially claiming that “the sheen was residue from a previous application of polish” and not a new application.”

The royal equivocation only added to the furor since the princess clearly stated that she is “not wearing any” nail polish. “Bending the truth is still a lie,” former Princess of Wales fan Margot Birdwhistle said. “Who’s she thinks she’s fooling? I could see some shine on them nails.”

In an attempt to end the growing outrage, Kate Middleton issued the following apology. 

“I deeply, and sincerely, apologize to the British people, members of the Commonwealth, and citizens of the world. When I was asked what color nail polish I was wearing I hastily assumed that clear is not a color and responded from that perspective. Since I had made no effort to match my nails to my outfit that morning, I inadvertently misled the people of the world. I can do better. I will do better! And I beg for forgiveness for my callous and divisive behavior.”

Deidre MacIntosh, of Scotland, was reluctant to accept the Princess’s apology; we think. “She’s bletherin’ aboot her nail varnish. A’body kens clear is a shade o’ nail varnish.”

Given the world-wide uproar, it is unlikely that this controversy will end soon.

Other stories meridian-street will cover if time allows include Russian tanks invading Poland, Aliens from planet Tharmkey starting a colony in Zanzibar, and a cure for cancer being discovered.