After former President Trump’s recent successful appeal, Trump is now required to post only $150 million of the $454 million bond. As a result, NY politicians have had to scale back plans for how to spend Trump’s money.

With the wisdom of Solomon, NY politicians have decided to proportionally cut all of the awards below, except for numbers 9 and 10 which will still be fully funded.

1. Donation to the Fanni Willis defense fund.
2. Purchase of Hunter Biden paintings to hang in Judge Engoron’s office. 
3. Performance bonus to Letitia James. 
4. Big honkin’ donation to DNC campaign fund. 
5. Donation to the Clinton Foundation (if it’s still in business).
6. Contribution to California to help cover the $73 billion deficit caused by Governor Newsom’s mismanagement.
7. Fund a $10,000,000 reward to anyone who can find something that President Trump did in NY that is actually illegal. 
8. Large contribution to the BLM riot defense fund in anticipation of a Trump election victory in the fall.
9. Purchase tickets for Letitia James’ entire staff and their families to Taylor Swift’s Eras concert tour stop at MetLife Stadium in New Jersey.
10. 10% to the Big Guy.