President Biden’s recent faux pas of celebrating March 31 (Easter) as Transgender Day of Visibility was controversial, so the President quickly decided to designate April 15th as a day to celebrate the transfer of $144 billion dollars of student debt to taxpayers. 

“On this new annual celebration, American students, will have their student debts forgiven, and by forgiven I mean transferred to taxpayers,” President Biden said. “God bless America and remember this when you vote.”

When Melvin Crankcase, a local automotive mechanic, heard the President’s proclamation he said, “But I didn’t even go to college and I’ve got bills to pay too.”

When the President was asked where the money would come from to pay off the student loans, Biden leaned over and replied in a whisper, “I’ve got a secret for you. The Treasury has printing presses.”

The President’s advisors are already lobbying the President to designate the first Tuesday after the first Monday in November, “Remember I Canceled Your Student Debt Day.”