Early in 2024, two attempted moon landings ended in failure. The Japanese lander, SLIM, landed upside down, and the American lander, Odysseus, tipped over onto its side. These technical failures were blamed on everything from programming errors to sensor failures, until Representative Jackson Lee revealed that the Moon has an atmosphere.

“I smacked my head when I heard that,” Aeronautical Engineer Tushar Patel of Intuitive Machines said. “It was wind! We forget to factor in wind.” 

Japanese engineer Arata Minami had a similar response, we think: “このジャクソン・リーという女はバカだ.”

“It all makes sense now,” Patel said. “We were operating on the assumption that the Moon was an airless body. An atmosphere means all our supercomputer calculations were off.”

Minami shared similar thoughts, we think: “彼女はどうやって当選したのでしょうか？。”

Thanks to Representative Jackson Lee’s revelation that the moon glows with its own inner light, Intuitive Machines is removing lights from its next lander which will save significant weight and reduce the amount of fuel needed. 

Currently, Patel’s company is negotiating a consulting agreement with Representative Jackson Lee, however, Yale graduate Lee has been evasive about the source of her knowledge.