After the ten thousandth Community Church converted to a contemporary worship style to boost attendance, the Non Denominational Denomination (NDD) appointed a Blue Ribbon Panel to find reasons why contemporary worship is better than traditional worship.

“As one of the mature worshippers, I wanted other elderly members to understand why we no longer sing hymns like Amazing Grace and “How Great Thou Art,” Blue Ribbon Chair, Ari Fadman said.

Executive Pastor of Inclusive Community Fellowship (ICF) Roland Along said, “This is just to help the older congregants transition while we wait for the younger worshippers to show up. They’ll get used to it.”

“I just wanted to know why the hymnals are in the dumpster behind the church,” Reggie Tither said, a founding member of the Presbyterian church that had evolved into ICF. “We did bake sales and car washes to buy those hymnals.” 

According to Fadman’s Blue Ribbon Panel, here are the three reasons why contemporary worship is superior. 

CLAPPING – Even those who can’t sing can clap and hearing arhythmic clapping is less painful than off-key singing. 

HIGH VOLUME – Ear splitting decibels from the worship band drowns out people who think they can sing but can’t – every congregation has them.

MINIMAL WORDS – Singing the same eight words over and over is a benefit to those with short term memory issues. 

A controversial fourth reason did not make the list. Some on the panel argued that hymns teach orthodox theology which often contradicts what is being preached. “Better to just sing feel good jingles,” Fadman said. 

Now a Blue Ribbon Panel is being set up to explain why on Throwback Sundays, when traditional hymns are sung, that the beautiful melodies are suddenly interrupted by an outbreak of random choruses.