After launching over 300 missiles and drones, Iran was embarrassed when virtually all of them were intercepted by Israel and her allies. Sources from inside Iran say that military heads will roll over the embarrassing attack; literally. To save face, the Ayatollahs quickly agreed on a response to the debacle.

“With the mother of all mercies, the Iranian people did not attack with their best missiles. Instead, we used what President Barrack Hussein Obama would call the JV team,” a Spokesayatollah announced.

When it was pointed out that the missiles and drones used are the same ones included in their parades, the Spokesayatollah claimed, “No, no. Totally different weapons. We used generic weapons not name brand weapons. You are comparing Kroger peanut butter to Skippy. Not nearly as good.”

When asked if they are worried about a response, the Spokesayatollah began to sweat and looked nervously at the ceiling. 

“No, it was just a free fireworks show.”

Immediately after Iran’s declaration, Russia announced that their attack on Ukraine was also done with their B-Team and not their real army.