Auto manufacturer innovations drive up the cost of new cars by adding features no one really wants. For example, video gaming on the console screen, cameras instead of mirrors, and Swarovski crystal headlights. Here are features that customers would gladly pay for. 

Bond Style Ejection Seat. Not just for hijackers but for annoying passengers. Besides, it is just so cool.

Maxwell Smart Style Cone of Silence. Very helpful on those occasions you and the front passenger want to gossip about the people in the back.

Essential Oils Isolation Zones. A filtration system that keeps drivers from having to share a passenger’s aromatherapy or poor taste in perfume.

A.I. Obscene Gesture Maker. A system that automatically responds in kind to angry drivers making obscene gestures with a virtual one of your own. Only when you are absolutely in the right, of course. 

License Plate Blur Mode. When driving a tad over the speed limit, or through an automated toll zone, your license plate is temporarily blurred. Options allow you to set the blur function only when you judge the tolls or speed limits are unreasonable.

Left Lane Hoggers Zombie Mode. After driving for miles behind one of those people who drive the speed limit or less in the left lane, this device takes remote control of the offending vehicle and safely moves it to the right lane where the driver belongs. The device also automatically triggers the A.I. Obscene Gesture Maker as you ,and the hundred cars behind you, finally pass them. 

How Do You Like It, Buster, High Beam Mode. This handy tech monitors the oncoming headlights of cars and when it detects one of those with the blinding white lights, or a car with high beams on, it returns an equal or greater beam just as the car passes. At the same time the device sends an audio message to the offending vehicle; “How do you like them apples?” or other optional clever responses.