Horrified that the WNBA number 1 draft pick Caitlin Clark would earn only a measly $76,000 to play for the Indiana Fever while the top draft pick in the NBA earns $10 million, President Biden pledged federal subsidies for Clark and other WNBA players.

“That girl, Clark, she’s good. She deserves equal pay. Reminds me of when I played basketball for Delaware. I was good. No Joke. I set a record for three point shots…if they had a three point line then…maybe it was a hockey record I set.”

When asked about other women’s sports, President Biden extended the subsidy pledge.

Equity isn’t something just for some female athletes. I just love women athletes. Their hair smells so good. The subsidies will be for girl bowlers, girls playing games with those sticks with nets, even girl midget wrestlers. I love to watch them. Hilarious.”

As Biden’s handlers tried to pull him away from the microphone, he was asked if trans-women would be eligible for the subsidies? President Biden responded, “Of course, they’re women aren’t they! Are they? Anyone know?”

When asked where the subsidy money would come from, Biden said, “We’ll use the money we saved by not processing student loan payments.”