With mounting claims by parents that their children were assigned the wrong gender at birth, members of the National Union of Obstetricians (NUO) voted to take no official position on the gender of a baby and instead use the roll of a die to assign gender. Union Chair Richard Bigman announced the new policy.

“It’s time to come out of the dark ages and go with the flow,” Bigman said. “Kids can just switch genders if they don’t like the way the die landed.”

NUO member, Virginia Womanski, explained the new gender assignment process.

“Once the baby is delivered, a nurse rolls one of our gender assignment dice. If an odd number comes up the baby is assigned a male gender. If it is an even number the baby is designated female.”

Obstetrics nurse, Lotta Bloney, believes that the process adds excitement to giving birth. 

“I like to shake the die in my hand for a long time, building the tension. Sometimes the birthing person and the sperm contributor even start cheering for what they want. ‘Come on odd!’ or, ‘Even, please even!’”

As the new system rolled out, a class action gender discrimination lawsuit was filed against NUO, arguing that two dice should be rolled so eleven genders can be assigned.

Immediately, the organization Queer Mathematicians United (QMU) filed a friend of the court brief, pointing out that rolling two die results in 36 possible number combinations, not eleven.

Subsequently, the Lesbian Union of Mathematicians (LUM) filed suit arguing that while 36 number combinations can result from a two dice roll, if the sum of the dice is used to assign gender then 7 would come up more frequently than other numbers (event frequency (6) divided by the sample space (36); 1/6).

Since 7 is an odd number, if cis-gender male is assigned to that number, it would result in under representation of other genders.

Other LGBTQ+ advocates argued that ten dice should be used to better represent all the different genders.

When Justice Kentanji Brown Jackson was asked what is a woman, she responded, “I don’t know. I’m not a mathematician.”