President Biden praised the conviction of Donald Trump for knowingly signing checks labelled as legal expenses when they were in fact for hush money.

“My opponent committed a felony when he signed those documents because he knew the truth. Bet on it.”

When the President was asked about his crack addict son’s pending trial for denying he was using drugs on a federal application to purchase a gun, the President told a story about his days driving 18-wheel trucks. Eventually, he returned to his son’s situation.

“Sure he claimed he wasn’t using drugs but it was true. He was between hits, see, because he’d run out of crack, see, and sent a hooker to get more. So, technically, he didn’t falsify anything. Biden’s word!”

When Hillary Clinton was asked about the charges against Hunter, she replied, “While there is evidence of violations of federal firearms laws, precedents lead one to conclude that no reasonable prosecutor would bring such a case.”

When asked for an example of a case where an obviously guilty person was not prosecuted, Hillary smiled cryptically and walked away.