Having his debate performance severely criticized, President Biden’s handlers decided the problem wasn’t his policies, his slurring, his senior moments or his frozen expression. It was his lack of a tan.

“The President works 24/7 for the American people, or at least 10-4 on a good day, which means he’s kind of pale and not as tan as Trump. I mean, he’s spent a lot of time in his basement. So, we decided to tan him up. It was either that or let him play golf with Trump who is a convicted felon.”

While many were shocked by the Presidents’ chemical tan, others thought it was just what he needed.

“That tan makes him look so handsome,” Lovey Dove said.

Dove is a White House aide assigned to make sure no throw rugs are in the President’s path.

“He was kind of pasty at the debate but now he looks like a frat boy after spring break in Cabo. I think he’s hot.”

Most press observers at the President’s remarks about the recent SCOTUS ruling thought the President was more orange than brown.

“It’s on purpose,” Dee Wellman said, one of Biden’s reelection social influencers.

“You all know Orange Man Bad, now meet Orange Man Good. We won’t concede anything to Trump, not even skin color.”

When Biden left abruptly after his four minutes of remarks, his spokesperson explained that he was late for his appointment to get his hair plugs dyed.