After President Biden’s physical, White House press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre was asked if the President had taken a cognitive exam? “He passes a cognitive test every day,” Jean-Pierre responded, however, did not expand on what kinds of tests these were. Meridian-Street Investigations can now reveal last week’s cognitive tests.

Monday – The President was asked what he had for breakfast and he paused, thought for a McConnel minute, and replied, “The usual. Cocoa Puffs.”

Grade: Pass

Clinical Note: While there is no evidence that the President has eaten Cocoa Puffs since becoming President, he ate them regularly back in the 1950s when they were introduced, indicating a good memory of what he had for breakfast seven decades ago.

Tuesday – When asked by the FBI when his son died, President Biden Biden responded, “Hunter’s dead?” 

Grade: Pass

Clinical Note: The President deftly handled an ambiguous question. 

Wednesday – The President enjoys word-find puzzles, and quickly solved one in the newspaper. 

Grade: Pass

Clinical Note: While the President accidentally did the word-find on the answers to yesterday’s crossword puzzle, everything he circled was a word.

Thursday – When hearing his wife introduced as Dr. Jill Biden, an open mic picked up the President whispering, “She’s not a real doctor.”

Grade: Pass

Clinical Note: The President’s comment shows he is cognitively sharper than MSM journalists. 

Friday – When ranting at a fundraiser, the President claimed that the Jan. 6 insurrection was worse than Pearl Harbor and he should know since he remembers it like it was yesterday.

Grade: Pass

Clinical Note: The President was only a baby when Pearl Harbor was attacked, so the fact he remembers it means he has exceptional memory.

Saturday – Hosting a state dinner for the Hungarian Ambassador and his wife, President Biden commented, “Reminds me of a game, folks. Seriously, there’s a game called Hungary, Hungary, Hungarians, or, no, Hippos, Hungry Hippos, yeah, that’s the ticket. Not that you’re hippos. Oh, god, what am I saying, your wife’s a big girl. More to hang on to, though, huh Ambassador? Seriously, it’s a good game. Maybe after dinner we can play a couple of rounds.”

Grade: Pass

Clinical Note: Inviting the Hungarians to play a competitive game demonstrates the President’s confidence in his cognitive abilities. 

Sunday – The President demanded to attend mass. When his Secret Service expressed concern about the unexpected request, the President explained, “The election’s coming. Got to polish my credentials.” When asked which church he wished to attend, the President replied, “The, ah, ahhh, ahhhh, Saint…..Saint….Saint Agnew?….The Catholic one!”

Grade: Pass

Clinical Note: The President clearly remembers how to manipulate the press and voters.

A week of cognitive tests proves there is no need to worry about our President’s fitness to lead the world’s only superpower.