In an effort to bring down the political tone in the country, President Biden pleaded for the nation to come together and suggested reaching out to the fascist Republicans.

In his speech, President Biden gave examples of violence including the January 6 riot, the attack on Nancy Pelosi’s husband, and the attempt to kidnap the Governor of Michigan.

When asked by reporters why all the President’s examples of political violence were only against Democrats, Presidential speechwriter Duncan Yoho, replied, “We only used examples from the highly regarded National Political Violence Record (NPVR).”

After reporters said that they had never heard of the NPVR, Yoho explained.

“We just set it up this morning.”

When asked if the President would stop referring to former President Trump as Hitler, or Jim Crow 2.0, or to Republicans as fascists, Yoho agreed.

“We are testing options now,” Yoho said. “But ‘Mussolini’ doesn’t test well so we’re still looking.”