With President Biden’s withdrawal from the presidential race, Vice President Kamala Harris is the presumptive Democrat to replace Biden for the party’s nomination.

When asked, convention delegates were quick to endorse her.

“Hoo boy, I guess,” delegate Wendy Flier said.

“Uhhhhh, okay,” delegate Jamal Johnson said.

“Are you sure Biden’s out? Really? Well, I suppose,” delegate Noland Contender said.

However, not all delegates were as enthusiastic.

“%#*&% no!,” said delegate Cassie Fowler. “She was on the ballot to get votes, not be President.”

Democrat strategists are confident that Harris can win the election.

“We’ll dodge debates, hide her in a basement, and avoid unscripted press conferences. It worked before and it can work again.”

At publishing time, rumors were that Harris was undergoing aversive conditioning to stop her from cackling.