After admitting that he no longer has the energy to manage the country and run for President, Joe Biden pulled out of the race for President.

“The world needs me,” President Biden said. “It’s a mess. The other guy did that. But it takes all my unlimited energy to fix it all. So, Nancy told me to end my campaign.”

After closing down his reelection bid, the President also dropped his subscription to LinkedIn. “Got no idea what’s it for,” the President said. “What do I care if some guy named J. D. Vance got a promotion?”

According to his Administrative Assistant, who is an Emergency Room Nurse, the President also dropped his subscription to Quora, Groupon and Facebook to reduce the energy he spends on clearing email and pouring it into governing.

“I’m keeping Nextdoor,” Biden said. “I’m worried about some of those missing cats.”