With Kamala Harris the presumptive Democrat nominee, Dems now feel free to claim their candidate is not as incoherent as your candidate.

“Have you listened to Trump?” Harris spokesperson Jip Gypsum said. “He once called Tim Cook Tim Apple. How stupid is he? Kamala Harris doesn’t make those kind of mistakes.”

When reporters pushed back and pointed out that the Vice President often sounds like a student giving a book report on a book she hasn’t read, Gypsum was offended.

“Kamala Harris is skilled at making complex topics accessible to the masses. For example, when explaining the roots of the Russia and Ukraine war, she started at the basics. ‘Ukraine is a country in Europe.’ That’s a skill, not a deficit.”

When asked what the Vice President meant when she famously said, “I can imagine what can be, and be unburdened by what has been,” Gypsum explained.

“Imagine a circle representing what can be and another circle representing being unburdened. Where the two circles intersect is what the Vice President was talking about.”

“Being coherent isn’t a competition,” Gypsum said. “But if it was, Harris would be winning. Bigly.”