As the living embodiment of the power of DEI hiring, the presumptive Democrat nominee for President is using the same approach that led Joe Biden to pick her as his running mate. Since Harris covers female, black and Indian, the V. P. is looking someone to check the missing blocks of male, white, and differently abled.

After a thorough search, the Vice President’s screening committee reported back that only two candidates fit the criteria; Greg Abbot, the Governor of Texas, and Joe Biden, President of the United States.

“We can’t put a Republican on the ticket,” Harris Spokesperson Mindy Fresh said. “So, that leaves the President.”

When asked how the President reacted to taking the Vice President spot, Fresh said “We haven’t approached him yet.

“He’s only available between 10 and 4 and not during lunch or his nap. So, we’ve decided to ask him during one of his ice cream breaks.”

Fresh further explained that before asking the President they first had to get permission from Dr. Jill Biden.

“She was open to it but negotiated hard. So we agreed that she can keep living in the White House and have fractional use of the Marine 1 helicopter and the Air Force One 747. Oh, and we have to find a new home for Commander. He’s been killing chickens.”

At publishing time, there were rumors that Harris’ staff thought that the Vice President’s unique speaking skills could check the box for differently abled, thus allowing a wider search for running mates. However, no one had the courage to approach her with the idea.