University of Auckland researchers have discovered that despite global warming and rising seas, hundreds of Pacific islands have grown, not shrunk. Environmental activists immediately disputed the claim, pointing out that many islands have already disappeared.

“Can anyone find Gilligan’s island?” Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez demanded. What about Doorn, or the one from the TV series Fantasy Island? There are a lot of missing islands out there.”

When a reporter cautiously suggested that the islands she claims can’t be found are fictional, A.O.C. replied sharply.

“That doesn’t mean they’re not real,” A.O.C. said. “It’s like socialism. It seems like a fantasy but if you actually believe hard enough, it works.”

“Where has it worked?” A.O.C. was asked.

“Xanadu,” A.O.C. replied. “It was an island utopia.”

“It was supposedly in Mongolia,” a reporter muttered.

At publication time, Representative Cortez was planning to introduce a bill requiring the post office to Issue a series of stamps commemorating islands lost to global warming, beginning with Atlantis.