Demonstrating her preternatural understanding of politics, V. P. Harris recognized that as a closet socialist, she would be vulnerable to right-wing attacks. To weaken that argument, Harris shook up the race by selecting a communist to run with her.

“The Democrat party is a big tent, and big tents have lots of space,” Harris said, then laughed. “As an adherent of communism Governor Walz of Minnesota will bring ideological diversity to what we are offering our American comrades.”

When asked what the difference is between socialism and communism, Harris was clear.

“Socialism is more about the social, and communism is all about communing. Together we are the same and different.”

When it was pointed out that Walz advocated for BIPOC people to get COVID vaccines before white people, Harris was supportive.

“See, communing is about equity, not equality. Some people need to go first just to be fair to everyone and that’s fair to those that need fairness.”

Puzzled reporters were still noodling out how favoring some over others could produce equity when Harris quickly left the room.