Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s Congressional basketball team was devastated by the loss of a second team member when Cori Bush (D-Mo.) lost her primary.

“Replacing Jamaal (Rep. Jamaal Bowman, D-N.Y.) would be hard enough, but finding two new players for my Bolshevik Bombers, is really, like, hard, ” A.O.C. said.

When asked why it was difficult to find players when so many of the Democrats are socialists, A.O.C. was unsure.

“They claim they don’t have the time, but it’s because they like to fly under the radar and wearing a Bolshevik Bombers jersey kind of blows their cover. I mean Bernie Sanders offered to play but I couldn’t put him on the team because, well, you know.”

When asked to explain, A.O.C. was uncomfortable.

“Because of the J-word,” A.O.C. said, and then quickly changed the subject.

While frustrated by the institutional racism that prevents three players from playing in the 5X5 league, A.O.C. has a plan.

“There’s a proposed rule change that would let spouses play for Congressional teams, and if it passes Rashida’s husbands can play. She said with the first one they were only religiously divorced, not legally. Or maybe it was the other way around.”

When it was pointed out that a competing Congressional basketball rule change would mean that only biological family members could play on teams, A.O.C. was not concerned.

“Rashida’s got it covered either way.”

Bravely facing relegation, A.O.C. is preparing for the new league.

“Our jerseys will still be Revolutionary Red, of course,” A.O.C. said, “but we need a new name. I’m thinking of either Triple Threat Trotskys, or Marxist Mayhem.”

As A.O.C resumed practice, she confirmed that she is going to introduce a new rule making all shots free throws since it will promote equity.

“It’s not fair that some people are shorter than others,” A.O.C. said.