Most Americans are mystified by Kamala Harris’ word salad speaking style.

“I understand she got her start by sleeping with Willie Brown,” SF resident Pam Sampson said. “But how did she pass the bar? And get elected Senator?”

Harris’s fourth grade speaking level has been a mystery until now.

Scientists from the Centers For Disease Control report the discovery of a virus that infects language centers in the brain and causes garbled speech, characterized by repetition, circular reasoning, and insincere sincerity.

The clue that led CDC scientists to the virus came when they found a recording of freshman Senator Harris discussing economics.

“Monetarism, is a macroeconomic theory that asserts that the money supply is the main driver of economic growth. Subscribers to monetary economics believe that when governments increase the money supply it effects higher prices and inflation, while conversely decreasing the money supply leads to deflation and risks causing a recession.”

At that point Harris begins coughing and the recording is cut. When the recording continues Harris is looking flushed and drinking water.

“Sorry. I felt faint for a second. Now where was I? Oh yeah. Monetarism? It’s like really important….and we all know the importance of important. So, money is a thing we use, see. Some have more than others, kay? Is that fair? I was born middle class…”

While scientists have identified the K-24 virus, no mass vaccine is available yet. However, a cure was tested on President Biden, and the President suddenly became sharp and clear.

“What do you mean I abdicated?” Biden shouted when he learned he was deposed. “Pelosi did what? Kamala took my spot? Why am I sitting on a beach?”

At that point the President was reinfected to keep him under control and he returned to his beach lounger.

While reporters wondered if President Trump might also have K-24, lead researcher Tom Foolharty, said, “No, that’s just him.”