After the success of playing games in Europe, the NFL is planning to adopt the metric system to make American football more accessible to Europeans.

“It will take Americans a game or two to get used to the changes, but they’re so addicted to our product we won’t lose any audience share,” spokesperson Ari Gant said.

Gant had several examples of what Americans will have to adapt to.

“For starters, when we go metric they’ll hear announcers say, ‘it’s fourth down and centimeters’ instead of inches. And instead of saying ‘the ball is a foot short of the line to gain,’ the announcers will say ‘the ball is 30.5 centimeters short.’”

“The yard lines will change too. Instead of 10, 20, 30, etc. the meter lines will be 9, 18.2, 27.5, and so on. So the announcer’s call will be, he’s at the 27.5, the 18.2, the 9…Touchdown! So, just as exciting as calling yard lines.”

When asked why not use even numbers? Gant said, “Gotta preserve the records.”

“We also think we need to drop the name “football” because soccer in Europe has that locked up,” Gant said. “We’re still spitballing but “Oblong Ball” is currently the favorite.

At publication time the NFL also announced plans to highlight the problem of global warming by playing a game at the North Pole before it melts away.

“The game will feature the Green Bay Packers and the New England Patriots since those players and fans are already used to playing in arctic conditions,” Gant said.