As Halloween nears, the nation is begging for more variety in this seasonal playlist.

“If I have to hear Monster Mash one more time, I’ll scream,” shopper Marilyn Manson said. “Maybe screaming is what they’re after. It adds to the ambience. But I just can’t stand it anymore.”

A survey of online and store playlists reveals Manson is right, and these are the six songs being played over and over and over.

Flying Purple People Eater – This 1958 oddity from the McCarthy era needs to be retired, unless you have a sudden urge to do the Twist. (That’s a dance, youngsters)

Monster Mash – Bobby Pickets’ 1962 hit was added to everyone’s stack of 45’s with Flying Purple People Eater, thus creating the world’s first Halloween playlist. (And yes, I know that most of my readers are googling “What’s a 45?”)

Thriller – Only tolerable if you don’t picture Michael Jackson singing the song to kids.

Ghostbusters Theme – Ray Parker’s super simple movie song repeated “Who you gonna call?” over and over. Turns out Huey Lewis knew who to call; his lawyer. Parker ripped off Lewis’ song I Want A New Drug. (Listen to them back to back if you don’t believe me)

The Addams Family Theme – A catchy earworm, except for all the people who can’t snap their fingers in time. It’s just painful for us with perfect rhythm. How hard can snapping your fingers be? Q did it. Thanos did it. (Now half of you are googling “Who or what is Q.”)

Time Warp – From the movie The Rocky Horror Picture Show. It’s also a dance, although the stupidest dance ever created. I am qualified to say this because I did the dance in a midnight showing along with an audience full of people dressed like characters in the movie. (Audience members also threw rice – see if your favorite A.I. can explain that reference).

According to Manson, there is one positive outcome of the Halloween short playlist.

“It almost makes me look forward to Mariah Carey to start singing All I want For Christmas Is You over and over. Almost.”