Frustrated by Hitleresque Trump running three times for President, Kamala Harris has come up with a secret plan to stop Trump from running again in 2028.

A meridian-street reporter was given access to an audio recording of the meeting, and the outline of Harris’ plan which was written on a wine stained Waldorf Astoria Sky-Bar napkin. The plan begins by declaring Trump “wildlife.”

“He’s so weird it would be easy,” an unidentified voice says. “Once he’s reclassified, then when he comes to New York, we can have the DEC (Department of Environmental Conservation) confiscate him, just like Peanut the Squirrel.”

“Oooh, yeah,” Harris responds. “And now is the time to do what we have been doing all along, and that time is now.”

“Okay,” the unidentified voice says. “Then we claim there has been rabies in the area and Trump needs to be tested. We’ll say he might have caught it when he did that garbage truck stunt.”

“Right,” Harris says. “What can be, unburdened by what has been.”

Okay,” the unidentified voice says. “But the only way to test for rabies is to look at brain tissue, so Trump gets euthanized.”

“What joy that joyfulness will be,” Harris says. “I’ll have another glass of wine. Don’t give me no stingy pour, now!(laughs)”

In related news, a memorial service was held for Fred the Raccoon, but no one attended.

At publication time an inside source revealed that a tranquilizer gun had been prepared by the DEC.