Following tradition, President Biden pardoned Tom the Turkey in a Rose Garden ceremony. Only later was it discovered that Tom’s pardon included language that also pardoned Hunter Biden.

“I thought the pardon was unusually long for a turkey,” meridian-street reporter Ona Topuvit said. “So I read it all and on page 37 there is footnote 86 where you find the Hunter language.

“This act of pardoning includes Hunter Biden who is hereby pardoned for all and every past crime committed, and all future crimes committed. This blanket pardon is in perpetuity and forever, whichever is longer, and there is nothing Trump can do about it so how do you like them apples?”

Republican feathers were clearly ruffled as they pounced on the pardon, and decried hiding Hunter’s pardon behind a succulent turkey.

Fox News immediately began referring to the pardon as “Drumstickgate.” And had a cool graphic.

The NY Times fact checker defended the nepotism pointing out that Bill Clinton pardoned his cocaine dealing half brother, Roger. The Fact Checker also noted that adding Hunter to a turkey pardon was unusually clever, thus absolving President Biden from any involvement.

At publication time, Tom the turkey was turned over to the New York State Department of Environmental Conservation who will test Tom for rabies and then give him a nice brine bath.