PIES: Of all the pies made from gourds, pumpkin is the most popular. (Proof: Ever seen hundreds of Sweet Potato pies stacked at Costco?)

STUFFING VS DRESSING: 99% of people who have taken a Microbiology class prefer not to eat substances baked inside the body cavity of a dead bird.

GIANT PARADE BALLOONS: The first giant parade balloon was introduced in Chicago, not New York. The cow shaped balloon was sponsored by Oleary’s Dairy and filled with hydrogen. When the balloon clipped a street lantern, it went up like the Hindenburg and started the Great Chicago Fire of 1871. (Oh the humanity!)

THE PILGRIMS’ HORRIBLE FIRST WINTER: Due to a navigation error, the Mayflower landed in Massachusetts instead of Florida. Since the Pilgrims had packed mostly Bermuda shorts, swim suits, and tee shirts, they nearly froze to death.

TRYPTOPHAN IN TURKEY: Contrary to popular belief, the Tryptophan in turkey meat does not make you sleepy. However, gorging like an NFL lineman does. (Don’t let that stop you. It’s only once a year!)

DALLAS COWBOYS: 89% of those who watch the traditional Cowboys Thanksgiving game will fall asleep. Of course, this is the same percentage who fall asleep during all their other games.

DETROIT LIONS: 100% of those who tune in Detroit’s Thanksgiving game will watch with their mouths agape. The Lions are pretty darn good for a change.

BROWN FRIDAYS: The day after Thanksgiving is the busiest day for plumbers. Do I have to plunge into an explanation?

CRANBERRIES ARE NOT CYLINDRICAL IN THEIR NATURAL STATE: In the oldie-times, cranberries were too sour to be popular. Only when Ocean-Spray added tons of sugar, gelled the fruit, and molded it into the shape of a can did it become a Thanksgiving staple.

FEMALE TURKEYS DON’T GOBBLE: However, they do nag. It’s a gender thing.

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