Building on its success with round, crescent, grand, and mini, shaped rolls, Pillsbury has announced two new shapes for its tube packaged rolls.

“Coming in 2025 we are introducing Oval and Semicircle shaped rolls,” spokesperson Joe Doughboy said. “These exciting new eating options are sure to delight our customers.”

“Wouldn’t cutting round dough in half produce a semicircle?” a reporter asked.

“Yes, but you don’t have to because we did it for you,” Doughboy explained. “And what a time saver it is.”

When asked if the rolls will all still taste the same, Doughboy was a bit defensive.

“Yes, the same great taste that all our shapes have, but if you want flavor, add cheese, or roll the dough around a wiener. It’s not hard, people.”

Doughboy also assured customers that the new shapes will continue to come in the pressurized cardboard cans that scare the crap out of you when they pop.