Using inside sources, meridian-street.com can reveal what celebrities hope to achieve in the New Year.

Ellen Degeneres – “Never use England’s socialized medicine again. Figure out a reason to justify moving back to the US.”

Kamala Harris – Now that she’s unemployed, and not spending donated money, she is cutting back. “I plan to drop eight of my wine club memberships. No, seven. Maybe six or five.”

Chuck Schumer – Visit Texas for barbecuing lessons.

Taylor Swift – Postpone release of her break-up track about Travis Kelce, so it won’t hurt his Super Bowl performance.

Peanut the Squirrel (RIP) – (Discovered in his little diary). “Leave the empty celebrity life of being an internet star behind, find a wholesome country girl squirrel, settle down in a hollow tree, and raise a family.”

Whoopi Goldberg – “Actually move to another country because of Trump like I keep promising. This time for sure. Probably. Maybe.”

Rachel Zegler – Wants to get back to pointing out that half the people in the country are racist bigots, but only after Disney’s live action Snow White premiers and finishes its theatrical run.

Charli xcx – Plans to come up with another chic word like ‘brat’” to keep her unpronounceable name on everyone’s lips. She is considering trixit or pebot.

Bob Iger (Disney CEO)- After the live-action Snow White movie has its box office run, fire whoever hired Rachel Zegler.

Joe Biden – (From his to-do list) “Figure out who this Dr. Jill person is that keeps hanging around. Not sure she’s a real doctor. Pardon someone called the ‘Big Guy’ before January 20. What year did Beau die?”

God – Perform a miracle where the verse “Male and Female He created them”(Genesis 5:2)turns flashing neon green in every Bible everywhere.