Word renowned psychic Madame Zamboni, annually releases her predictions for the following year. In 2024 Zamboni correctly predicted these events.

An incompetent world leader will become more incompetent.

The full force of the fascist state will be brought to bear to protect society from a rodent internet star.

A Hollywood star will get divorced.

Disney will release another flop.

With her stunning ability to predict future events, Madame Zamboni is here to let you know what will happen in 2025.

Disney will release another flop. The title of this one will rhyme with Doe Bright or will be a Marvel movie, or both.

CNN will concede that President Biden, might have, at one point, maybe, demonstrated some slight, but harmless, cognitive decline late in his presidency.

To improve her street creds for her 2028 run for President, Kamala Harris will get a job at McDonald’s but quit the same day when she discovers her trainer is Donald Trump.

After winning a national championship, Ohio State Fans calling for coach Ryan Day‘s firing, will insist he get a contract extension, until he loses to Michigan again and then call for him to be fired.

After Ukraine cedes a portion of its country to stop the bloody war, Vladimir Putin finally looks up the phrase “Pyrrhic Victory.”

Boeing will go through all of 2025 without any doors falling off. Even when their planes crash, the doors will stay on. Way-to-go Boeing. A small, but significant step.

While filming the sequel to his movie Rust, Alec Baldwin “accidentally” shoots a director with an arrow. Baldwin claims the bow and arrow just went off on its own.

Still in prison, the Mendez Brothers appeal their sentence arguing that their parents would have died of old age by now anyway.

The National Weather Service will continue to introduce sensationalized weather terms. Thunder storms will be renamed “Kaboomers,” and dew will be called “morning slickness.”

Former President Biden will spend much of his time at his beach house napping, thus exactly mimicking his White House routine.

When the astronauts marooned in orbit by Boeing finally get back to Earth, they are greeted by a talking ape.

Happy 2025!