With the holidays ending, but still cooped up inside, women will get the itch to clean. Here is a survival guide for men trapped into helping.

Clean something out of the house. Does the garage need cleaning? The yard? How about your car? Clean something, anything, somewhere else.

Clean in a different room. Can’t get outside? Wherever she is working is where you don’t want to be.

Timing is critical. Make sure whatever you are cleaning takes at least a minute more than what she is cleaning. Stretch it…stretch it…

Grab a broom. Sweeping is light duty and makes you look busier than you are.

Look annoyed if she walks on a floor you are sweeping. A good offense is the best defense.

Vacuum. Almost as good as a broom but more challenging since the device leaves a trail showing what you vacuumed around. She’ll notice. Pro tip: Put in your noise cancelling earbuds and listen to sports radio.

All loose clothing is dirty. Toss any socks, shirts, pants, underwear, towels, etc., in the hamper. Never hesitate to slam dunk it. This is the easiest way to quickly reduce clutter.

Single socks are not your problem. Found a single sock? Consider it dirty (see above). She’ll match it up or return it. If the sock is returned, put it back in the hamper. Repeat until the match finally shows up.

Use the everything drawer liberally. If you don’t have an “everything drawer” create one. Don’t know what to do with small items lying around? Straight into the drawer! Later when she can’t find something, you can say, condescendingly, “Did you try looking in the everything drawer?”

Put all dishes in the dishwasher. Visible cups, glasses, plates, bowls, silverware? Straight to the dishwasher. If you spend any time wondering if the dish is clean, you need to get your head straight. Not your job, man!

Pretend you don’t know how to work the washer and dryer. Most women pride themselves on understanding cleaning tech. Feed this every chance you get, even if you have a media room you set up with 11 interconnected tvs, game consoles, and sound systems. Pro tip: Regularly say, “So, what can’t be washed with what again?”

These simple rules will promote marital harmony and get you back to doing nothing faster than you would have thought possible.