After releasing the DOGE A.I., known as Kraken, on the executive branch, the DOGE team became convinced that there was no President in the term before Trump’s return.

“The so-called speeches in that era are gobbledygook, there are no coherent policies, and there was zero attention to illegal immigration and crime,” DOGE spokesperson Mr. Ball said. “So where’s the evidence we had a president?”

When asked for additional proof of presidential absence, Mr. Ball cited the outrageous ice cream bills submitted for reimbursement.

“It would take a nursing home full of the elderly to eat that much chocolate chip ice cream.”

Former Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre laughed at the suggestion that there was no President for four years.

“Of course there were,” she said. “Where do you think I got the clear and concise answers I gave to you every day? They provided them to me. And I saw for myself that they was doing a masterful job.”

Jean-Pierre’s use of the “there were” plural construction instead of “there was,” and the use of “they” raised eyebrows.

“When you say ‘they’ are you referring to a group of people, like a committee, or has the former President changed his pronoun preference?” Jean-Pierre was asked.

“Since they is no longer paying me, I don’t have to keep answering they’s questions,” Jean-Pierre said.

“As if you ever answered our questions,” mumbled a disgruntled reporter as Jean-Pierre left.

A short time later, DOGE released a statement declaring that there was even less evidence that we had a Vice President in the previous term and that DOGE would be demanding that salary be returned as well.