Recently, President Trump ordered the U.S. Mint to stop producing pennies, since it costs 3.7 cents to produce each penny. This move is projected to save taxpayers $179 million in production costs.

The unwarranted attack on the penny was probably suggested to President Trump by the DOGE whisperer. Why Elon Musk hates the penny is not clear.

As part of his executive order, Trump also ordered that “penny” be erased from American culture. Specific changes covered in the EO included the following.

“Penny for your thoughts,” will now be, “Nickel for your thoughts.”

Penny Marshall is to be renamed posthumously Nickel Marshall, mostly just to annoy her Ex, Rob Reiner who is a “big lib.”

“Penny loafers,” are to be renamed, “Dollar loafers” and the slit in the shoe enlarged to accept Sacagawea dollar coins. According to the EO, this is to “honor Native American heritage.”*

“Penny-wise and pound-foolish” is changed to “Nickel-wise and pound-foolish.”

While it is true that a penny costs three times its value to produce, nickels actually cost 11.5 cents to produce. Since more nickels will need to be produced to replace pennies in circulation, It is likely that there will be no savings.

Just before publication President Trump issued a new EO, changing “Nickel-wise and pound-foolish” to nickel-wise and dollar-foolish,”as part of his agenda of cleaning foreign words out of American.**

*Actually, Trump just likes the color gold and the Sacagawea dollar is the only US gold coin.

**The “English language” was changed to the “American language” in a previous EO.