Experts on both sides of the boys in girls sports controversy, agree that resolution of lawsuits will come down to one question: Are “trans-girls,” real girls? Ironically, the Judge who must answer this question is the same judge that ruled on the famous Santa Claus case.

While litigation is occurring in multiple blue-states, the first case to move forward is in New York, and controversy has followed.

When Judge Henry X. Harper drew the case, left-wing conspiracy theorists noted the “X ” in his name and demanded that he recuse himself since he is clearly an Elon Musk plant.

Other critics worried that Judge Harper might be too old to preside. When asked his age, Harper replied “I’m as old as my tongue and a little older than my teeth.”

Soon, Right-wing conspiracy theorists released secretly recorded video of Judge Harper meeting with the Democrat Party fixer Charlie Halloran, claiming unfair pressure on the Judge. Many critics have noted that Halloran looks a lot like apartment building owner Fred Mertz. Coincidence? I think not!

District Attorney Thomas Mara was confident of an easy win in court. “Anyone who doesn’t think trans-girls are real girls probably doesn’t believe in Santa Claus either.”

Mara’s position shocked observers since he took the opposite stance in the “Kris Kringle v. State of New York” case. A person close to Mara confided that after the humiliating loss in the Santa Claus case Mara had a nervous breakdown and began believing in all kinds of crazy stuff, including that Biden is still as sharp as a tack.

As the topsy turvy case moves forward, meridian-street has learned that DA Mara plans to introduce 3 letters addressed to one of the plaintiffs, “Susy Walker,” who used to be Sammy Walker” to prove Susy is a girl.

“‘Cause it’s illegal to deliver mail to the wrong person,” Mara said. “Get it?’

Everyone did.

“Then, when Judge Harper says that, ‘Three letters is hardly proof,’ I’ll have post office workers bring in bags and bags of letters addressed to Susy to prove he, I mean, she’s a girl. It’ll be very dramatic.”

When asked if he actually has bags of letters since no one sends letters anymore, Mara confided that they had an A.I. working 24-7 to produce them.

Speaking for the Federal government, Federal Prosecutor Fred Gaily explained how they would make the case that Susy is still Sammy.

“We’re just gonna show video of “Suzy” walking around the locker room with her boy parts hanging out”

In a last second blow to Mara’s strategy, DOGE furloughed the Post Office workers who were to carry in the bags.