When DOGE sent out the request for federal employees to list five things they accomplished in the last week, the email went to all employees, in all branches of government. Joe Biden was included in the email since his salary is being paid out through the fiscal year.

Here is his response.

• Found my bathrobe without Jill’s help. Ta-dah!
• Signed with a Hollywood talent agency but talked them down to a 10% commission. If it’s good enough for the Big Guy, it’s good enough for them.
• Went to take my Corvette for a drive but someone hid the keys so I couldn’t.
• Got a silver star for hitting the toilet 70% of the time. Going for the gold next.
• Found my bathrobe. I was wearing it. Heh, heh, heh.