This is the fifth in our series on responses to the DOGE request for federal employees to list five things they accomplished in the last week.

Here is Halsey’s response.

• Participated in brainstorming sessions on how to rename our DEI unit so we can retain the good work they do by hiding it from DOGE.
• Saved $50 million dollars for the DOE by shipping our newly published “Speling Curriculom” to Mississippi schools since they won’t notice the errors.
• Helped write new lyrics critical of Elon Musk to the song “It’s Judy’s Turn To Cry” for our protests. “Now, the words are, “It’s, Elon’s Turn To Cry.”
• Finished editing my 100 page DOE “Guideline for writing succinctly.”
• Worked overtime helping to approve every grant application we have before DOGE cuts our budget.