When the newly appointed Director arrived to take charge of the US Institute of Peace(USIP)the acting director and employees denied him entrance. Quickly, the matter escalated with USIP staff building barricades, removing the electronic access system, and destroying and removing locks.

Mediation Specialist, Meaghan Narckle spoke for the barricaded peace specialists.

“You can’t compromise with evil. There is no middle ground between us and Trump. We are right and he is wrong.”

Similarly, De-escalation Trainer Eddie Haskell, gathered his forces to block the entrance.

“The DOGE storm troopers tried flanking us by going in a side entrance but we put super glue in the locks and smashed the keyless entry. We were prepared to dump boiling coffee on them from the cafeteria on the fourth floor too, but it’s a Keurig machine so we could only make hot coffee one cup at a time.”

When the USIP staff realized the contracted private security personnel had access codes and keys, they were summarily fired and escorted to the exits.

“You’re either with us or against us,” Building Bridges Ambassador Arch Nenimy said.

Eventually, the new Director enlisted the help of Washington D.C. police, who helped him gain entry.

“We scuffled with the cops, but we just didn’t have enough fighters on our side,” Nenimy said as he was escorted from the building in handcuffs. “Most of our people only come in one day a week.”

When asked what the USIP had accomplished since its inception, Nenimy said, “You think the world is bad off now, just imagine what it would be without us.”

Sources tell meridian-street.com that for the first time Democrats were unable to find any Biden or Obama appointed Federal judges who would block the DOGE led closing of USIP. Although, there were reports that Democrats had recently located a Federal judge in a Rhode Island memory care facility that they might be able to coax out of retirement.

At publication time, without the US Institute of Peace, nothing in the world changed, except the US budget deficit got a tiny bit smaller.