Concerned about tiny amounts of food coloring that give foods brighter colors, Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr has moved to ban them from popular products like Skittles and Trix.

Additive concerns began decades ago with Red Dye #3 when, based on studies with rats, researchers found that if someone eats 724,000 cans of fruit cocktail a year for 70 years, the added dye might lead to cancer in some people sometimes. 

“I don’t eat the stupid cherries anyway, so I’m safe,” Fred Stuffer said at the time of the ban. “I just like the yellow and white fruit chunks. Whatever they are.”

At General Mills, food engineers have not found suitable replacement vegetable dyes, so soon the formerly colorful Trix Cereal will be barely distinguishable from Kix.

“Our cartoon rabbit used to push the color thing, saying ‘lemon yellow, orange orange, and raspberry red,’” Chief Food Chemist and Chef, Neil Down said. “Now the colors are whitey white, cotton cotton, and creamy cream. We’re going to have to take out so much of what gave the cereal color and taste that we’re thinking of renaming the cereal Nix.”

Other affected popular foods include, Skittles, M & Ms, Gatorade, Mtn Dew, Oreos and Pop Tarts.

In a related story, the NAACP is suing multiple food manufacturers because all their products will now be white.