After losing their fifth straight Congressional Baseball Game, Democrats quickly found a judge to issue an injunction to stop Republicans from crowing about their latest victory.

“They’re just sore losers, Republican coach Roger Williams (TX-25) said. “Maybe if they ran as fast to the bases as they do to Federal judges they might win.”

“It’s not about winning and losing, it’s about equity,” Democrat coach, Linda Sanchez (CA-38) said. “Declaring a winner means there has to be a loser, and why is that? It’s an outdated concept leftover from the white, colonizer, patriarchy, which we reject.”

In the suit filed with a Biden Appointed Federal Judge, the Democrats argue that the game was rigged because the Republicans had unfair advantages, including more talent, matching jerseys, and because they had practiced.

“If you’re going to start determining success based on things like ability and effort, some people are going to be left behind,” Sanchez said. “How is that fair? It just makes the less-runs team feel bad and Democrats are opposed to feeling bad, especially when its us.”

As the suit moves through the courts, the Democrats have offered a settlement compromise.

“We will withdraw our suit if the Republicans agree that both teams will get trophies that say winner in all caps, since aren’t we all winners on the inside?”

At publication time, Democrats were in court to get a new injunction since the Federal Judge who approved the original injunction issued it against Donald Trump instead of Congressional Republicans.

“Sorry, it was just habit,” the judge explained.