“I report for the New York Times,” said one snooty member of the White House Press Pool. “You can’t expect me to sit next to Joe Rogan or that reporter from Oregon. Whoever heard of the Tigard Life newspaper? She smells like beef jerky. Does everyone in Oregon smell like that?”

Such complaints are common among the White House Press Pool now that President Trump has invited “new media” to help cover the President.

“Change was overdue,” White House Spokesperson Karoline Leavitt said. “Funny how the dying MSM seem to support diversity until it affects them.”

The divide between the old guard and the new media is most obvious when they travel on Air Force One. Reporters from AP, Reuters, and the Washington Post play poker and drink whiskey, while bloggers and podcasters knock back Red Bulls, take selfies, and play video games.

Even the health issues of the old and new media differ. MSM reporters talk about diabetes, knee replacement, menopause and prostate problems. The only health issues new media representatives discuss are hand and wrist issues from excessive typing and addiction to energy drinks.

“It was bad enough that they let Fox News be in the pool, but now we’ve got this collection of no-name nobodies,” a reporter who wished to be anonymous said.

New media had just as much disdain for the old media.

“Who are those old geezers?” asked a podcaster, who did not wish to be anonymous, but would not pay our modest fee to promote him on the meridian-street.com site. (Cheapskate)

While disagreeing on almost everything, both the old and new media members kept asking our reporter, “How the hell did you get a Press Pool pass?”