The nation recently learned that former President Biden’s dog Commander was donated to the Denmark Zoo’s feeding program.

“He was on his fourth farm and the owner and his family got bit one too many times,” Biden spokesperson Hunter Biden said.** “So we decided being pet food would be a good way to make his life meaningful. Plus the irony of getting bitten himself was pretty cool.”

In related news, when the Denmark Zoo opened its innovative, and weird, feeding program, The NY State Dept. of Environmental Conservation took the opportunity to rid itself of former Instagram star Peanut the Squirrel’s frozen carcass.

“We think P’Nut was haunting our building,” an anonymous NY Conservation Storm Trooper said. “We kept hearing skittering in the walls.”

The NY Conservation Department also offered up other confiscated pets, including:

Mrs. Jones’ Third Grade Class pet guinea pig, “Porky.”

Oscar, the talking macaw who could only say, “I love Trump.”

The Emotional Support Alligator, Sammy, that a weirdo tried to carry onto a Delta flight.

Eighteen ungrateful cats found dining on the recently deceased body of “Alice the Cat Lady.”

“Joker,” a seeing-eye dog that thought it was funny to lead its master into overhanging signs.

Dissected road kill collected by budding serial killer “Bobby,”

Every ugly, yappy, little dog they could get their hands on.***

While offered, P’Nut’s co-star, Pete the raccoon, was rejected by Denmark because, “Not even animals want to eat a trash panda.”

At publication time, there were rumors that Dr. Jill Biden had offered Joe to the Denmark Zoo.

*Hat tip to Rob.

**Dude has bills to pay and couldn’t pass the required drug test at Waffle House.

***An action heartily supported by the meridian-street.com staff.