As recorded in the Bible, the Ten Commandments were written on stone tablets, but when Moses was angered by the sin of God’s chosen, he smashed the stones. Now, noted Harvard “Biblical Archeologist,” and DEI director, Dr. Berry Luna (pronouns: she, shim, shimsa), has announced the discovery of a chunk of the stone tablet with these words carved into it.

“Thou shalt render unto Caesar what Caesar needs to care for the poor, the sick, the homeless, and those still looking to find themselves in their art, and not complain about it.”

Dr. Luna was quick to point out that this finding would undercut efforts of MAGAs to reduce the budget deficit.

“This discovery should end all Judeo-Christian opposition to high taxes, cause, like, Yahweh wrote in stone that government should get all the taxes it wants,” Luna said.

At her announcement, Luna thanked the George Soros Foundation for funding her expedition to find the 11th commandment.

Predictably, some doubting Thomases were suspicious of the tablet’s authenticity since the writing on the stone is in King James English. When asked about it, Dr. Luna seemed confused.

“It’s Bible talk, so what’s the problem?”

When a reporter pointed out that Caesar was not a contemporary of Moses, Luna said:

“Well, well…that just proves this is a God thing. She’s omniscient, right?”

Dr. Luna was also unable to explain why this chunk of the stone with the 11th commandment was not with the other commandment stone fragments that were inside the Ark of the Covenant when it was misplaced in a vast warehouse during WW II.

At that point Dr. Luna abruptly ended the press conference to begin a series of interviews at CNN, MSNBC, PBS, ABC, NBC, and CBS but not Fox News.

At publication time, Dr. Luna had called another press conference to announce the finding a Dead Sea Scroll with a passage that says, “Male and female He/She assigned they, until they could decide for theyselfs which gender they prefer.”