Sorting out a confrontation at a Gold’s Gym in California has proved to be difficult, since everyone involved is in one or more protected classes. The classes include, race, gender, sexual orientation, and transsexualism.*

The controversy began when a black, female, lesbian, changing her clothes, caught a black, trans female, exposing theyself and ogling her. When the black, female, lesbian, confronted the trans female, claiming they was a man in a woman’s locker room, the trans woman proved they was a woman by showing her gym membership card that had the listed as “female.”

As the confrontation continued, cisgender, straight, women nearby became aware that they had been changing clothes next to a lesbian, and quickly covered up.

“She’s sexually attracted to women,” one said. “Should she be in here? I don’t feel safe.”

The controversy quickly spilled out into the lobby, now involving staff. One male witness listened to the complaints and commented:

“This sounds like the beginning of a really good porn movie.”

As the fighting continued, someone secretly turned the gym televisions to Fox News, thus offending everyone.

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*We think we got all the categories, but frankly aren’t sure.