In an example of good intentions gone bad, the Portland City Council took action to hinder agents at the ICE Facility by criminalizing the release of “noxious gases.”

“Taking away their self defense weapons is a win for the protesters,” Antifa spokesperson “Che” said. “Now we can wear regular masks to hide our identity and not gas masks.”

While ICE has tied up the ordinance enforcement in Federal Court, local businesses have also been affected.

“Taco Bells started closing immediately,” city spokesperson Clay Pheet said. “A lot of Mexican restaurants are doing the same. There seems to be some confusion over the definition of noxious gas.”

Meanwhile, some Portland residents are arguing that the “no noxious gases” ordinance should apply to City Council Meetings as well.