Psychologists across the country began to worry when the White House announced that the President would be setting quality standards for science. When the executive order was released, it confirmed their worst fears.

Gold Standard Science is:

• Reproducible, transparent, and falsifiable (testable);
• Subject to unbiased peer review;
• Clear about errors and uncertainties;
• Skeptical of assumptions;
• Collaborative and interdisciplinary;
• Accepting of negative results as positive outcomes; and
• Free from conflicts of interest.

“Virtually all of our science just got thrown out the window,” psychologist Sigmund Noodle said. “Just because, so called, gold standard studies show that none of our therapies are effective doesn’t mean they aren’t. What we do just can’t be measured in any sciency way.”

Meanwhile, biologists, chemists, and physicists had a different reaction.

“Haven’t those always been the standards for science?” chemist Raul Lamberlain asked?

Sociologist also immediately rejected the “gold standards”, calling them a product of the white, colonizer, sexist, patriarchy.

With the definition of science being narrowed to actual science, “Domestic Science” faculty at many university departments have made the decision to return their discipline name to Home Economics. However, Economists are resisting, saying it has enough problems with credibility without taking back cooking and sewing.